It was a long weekend. I’m pretty sure I work with kids too much. All day teaching 90 kids, come home to my two then at night coaching 10-12 more. Include the 32 athletes on two vball teams and a basketball team over the weekend. I just want silence some times. I can only find it at 6:30 in the morning before starting it all over again. This is when I think of you.

Friday: Addie has club vball practice 5-6
basketbalk game 730
Sat: 715 vball tourny
2 bkbll game
Sunday: 2 club softball practice
6 vball practice.

It’s quiet and I’m all alone for now. Girls are sleeping and Frank is working MLK March. We’ve been in Houston playing in the first stop of the Tour. We went 4-1 all solid teams. Losing to Magic in the semi finals day 2. Our girls hung in there but played sloppy. Cat was NOT on. This was the first time I’ve seen her in a slump. She kept hitting hard but they kept going out. Technique and mental confidence. One sever rattled off 4 points on her and her teammate. They couldn’t work it out. It was hard to watch.

Coach Maggie has me on the bench as her 2nd. Prob to quiet me down from screaming on the sidelines. I respectfully hold back a lot which is stressful BUT I also get to be heard which is cool. It’s exhausting working the games now especially being down ref. I miss snuggling my Addie in a blanket on the sidelines and the inappropriate banter with my friends. My sister is here too this year. Marlowe is playing on the team. We are loving that about 93% of the time. Adding a full blown beautiful teenager to mix makes life challenging, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. How cool is it I get to mini vacay with my bffs!! We took third out of 16. We were ranked 4th, moving on up. Next stop is RR TX Feb 8-10. Maggie just asked if I could coach solo. She’s coaching 12s and 13s and has to be in Dallas. Big debut at the Tour! Cat wasn’t stoked but is trying to be nice. Last night after I told her she was in a loving playful mood so.... I’m taking that as a good sign.

We rushed home for Addie’s club vball practice, Little Exrreme. I was tired, tired of sloppy volleyball... so I vowed to not let that play with the little girls at this practice. I got loud and held them accountable. I love being a part of these beautiful girls’ lives especially my two. I bet my dad is smiling.

Simply the Best by Noah Reid

Yesterday I had a terrible but amazing dream. It felt like I was visiting my past. Catalina was three years old. I knew that she wasn’t real. I knew I was being given a gift to be able to hold her to carry her again. I kept saying, you’re so big now. I can’t carry you like this. I forget how little you were. I miss this so much. and I start to cry so hard I woke up sobbing into my pillow. I’m trying to appreciate this moment but I miss my baby being a baby.

woke up at 4am last night with you on my mind.

If I really put in the effort and make it memorable, then I won’t have to do it so long or often. It really has some benefits to my life. It puts me in a better mood. I burn calories. I can relax after it’s over. It’s not the same like in my youth, but if I have to do it, I might as well be excellent at it. Exercise is important.