Do you understand petty. Bc that’s what I want to be. My day was silent and today you come looking. Getting what you need and leave me empty. Nothing has changed and I am left the fool once again.

I’ve been leaving the grocery shopping to Frank. It’s just been our way. He says I spend too much and I hate the social setting of HEB PLUS. His fav line is “we can always go back” Today I got up and risked my life at HEB. Walking up to the long line outside made me feel like I live in a communist society. Limitations on eggs, milk, meat. Most of the time, I like to think I am a sane collective person, but today was the closest to a panic attack I have ever been. People were swarming and the shelves were empty. No coffee, no beans, no rice, no lemonade. no dishwashing liquid. I did get last package of TP. I spent $300 and cried all the way home. I hate that I scared my girls walking in with a blotchy red face. Addie picked up on it and yelled at me for no buying doughnuts. No doughnuts. I yelled bk to not be ungrateful. Frank was the one to point out that was her way of showing stress. It was a terrible experience. I hate how scary the world is. I need this to be over.

Day 8 of quarantine. We are all okay physically. If we get it now which I’m sure is inevitable, It will be bc Frk goes to work every night, and I risk my life hunting for toilet paper. My girls are taking it surprisingly well. We went from non stop practice and tournaments to absolutely nothing. The girls are happy FaceTiming friends, TikTok and pet Roblox. We have all taken up a book. Addie’s reading Charlottes web, Cat is reading Mrs.Pegrines Home for Peculiar Children snd Scythe for me. I occasionally clean and organize. We have been hitting Netflix and Disney +. pretty hard.

Starting Monday, I’m back at work. I must put out weekly lessons for my students at school. I use Google Classroom religiously, so it’s not a problem. Being shut in is an actual an introvert‘s dream of mine; everyone knows I enjoy being away from ppl. Not sure Frk is the right person to spend so much time with. No surprise there. It’s hard to justify loving and being around someone who supports Trump. We try to avoid the topic but tonight was hard. I normally stay away from politics, but more importantly, I.stay away from Trump supporters. Supporting him makes it evident what type of person you are.. He may be handing out money and stopping evictions which is the right thing to do, but he is also enticing hate and spreading fear with his misinformation and blatant lies. I cannot overlook his character and praise his position. I cannot separate the job he is doing with his degrading words and demeaning actions. I NEVER EVER talk about this, but this but it is how I feel. I can’t wait for this all to be over. I was becoming so worried about the path our world was headed. This is a sign from Mother Nature to stop and reset. We must do better. We must.

Spotify

​https://open.spotify.com/track/2kJwzbxV2ppxnQoYw4GLBZ?si=_H1SrNwQRXSyd9ACEiSO4g
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I understand your anger but please think of this. We just returned for WDW yesterday. My daughter is 9 and I know that visit will be her last “magical vacation” where she truly believes in princesses and all that is magic. While I know I can’t let fear and worry run our lives, I can’t stop wondering if we are sick. We were very good about washing our hands and sanitizing after every handle ride. Still I am overwhelmed with fear that my persistence to go endangered my children. Rationally, I know 80% of cases are mild and healthy children are a low risk, but the guilt and fear I feel for my family is unspeakable. Please try to think on the bright side and feel grateful that your family is well and that your son sleeps in comfort in his own home.

If it were me, I would tell my kids that Mickey wants to keep us safe and asks if we can visit another day. He is cleaning and making his park even better.

I am so sorry our world is unwell. Sending prayers for comfort and health.