It's amazing that there are ppl in this world that find fault in you no matter the situation. Especially when you are being kind or even apologetic. They take advantage of your vulnerability and turn against you. Any attempt to bring you down. It doesn't matter. I've learned to expect it. I'm done being disappointed.
I am that mom that really pushes her children to do their best. Hardcore. I expect grades that reflect their best effort. Blue ribbons and shiny trophies are displayed in high regard, but what I want most in the world is for them to be good people. No matter what grade or place they receive, they must do it with integrity and respect. They must always be a good friend, teammate and sister. Today my sweet Catalina received a Pillar of Citizenship Award for her class. I couldn't be any prouder!
We often decline play dates and birthday parties from non family members. I know it's not my girls' fault their momma is an introvert. I know they miss out and I'm depriving them of valuable social opportunities and fun times. It's just very hard for me. I like staying away from small banter and awkward judgemental eyes. Home is my haven.
Today I was out trying to do it all for my kids. Field trips and class parties. Today required close conversation with small groups of adults, moms mostly and a few dads. Today was difficult for me. I don't know why, but I tend to say the wrong thing on occasion. At least I feel that way inside. I don't care much what other ppl think of me. But I do care how I present myself to others. I care I how I make others feel. It's exhausting being reserved and respectful. I was beat at the end of the day. I definitely deserved my nap today.
Then to Addies PreK party on her last day. Poor baby. She didn't want to leave. I was torn between not wanting it to end also and being so done with my socially awkward self.
first day Last day
Tmrw I have a short field trip with Catalina's school 9-11. We are going to the SA Art Museum. YES!!! She asked if she cld stay home. Not a chance! Then I have to run to Addie's last day of Pre-K Party. At 12:00. UG HUH :'( Teal school for her next year. ALL DAY LONG. It's too much.
Today was her last day of speech. When she started going to speech at three she was barely saying 30 words that we couldn't always understand. Now she won't zip it. Not that i want her to. We are giving the teachers catus gardens from my garden. I love this gift! I hope they will too. I appreciate these women all my heart and can't thank them enough for helping my girls grow.
i helped her with design ideas and construction. She did all the decorating and cutting.
This morning, she wanted to stuff her project in her backpack bc she was embarrassed to walk in with it. UG!!! She's never done that before. Pre-teenage insecurity. :/ She said she felt better after she saw all the other "over the top" space hats. There were some clever hats. fun!
It was fun helping her. We collaborated nicely. But I must learn to "back off momma". Someone get a spray bottle. Next project, she will do by herself mostly...like 80% of the project herself! I'm not kidding either!