In my mind life is different. I see and remember what I choose. I know what’s real and what is far from it. I know you do too.
It’s my girls are spending the night at two different cousin houses. I’m left here with the cats. Just like I knew I wld be. I do love the quiet.
I remember hungry starved crazed.
I remember enticing engaging regretting. I remember soaking engulfing inflamed. I remember living honestly freely and fully. I remember chasing pleading promising. I remember loving then losing. I remember forgetting. Repairing, replacing and covering over ugly. Im tired. Two weeks to ready rental till move into. We are getting a showing every other day consistently for our current home. We just need that right family to fall in love with our home. Until then we are house jumping.
Addie started vball camp today. She took home the “passing award!” Cat made 12u National Xtreme team. My girls are awesome even when they are NOT! Cat is going through a hard time. Changing. Sassy. I feel her pushing to see how far she can go just like when she was three years old. I’ve been doing a lot of praying. Only God can help us. We closed on our little house yesterday. We are fixing it up to live in while the house is being built at the ranch...which can’t get started till our current house is sold. Today we pulled up all carpet. It already smells better. I asked my sister how to get rid of old lady smell. She said I shld check between the walls first. Dang!! Scary. ...aaannddd I am already annoyed as hell with the worst half! It’s sure as hell hard to compromise with me. I want this tile gone but he’s okay with it for now. His compromise leave the popcorn ceiling and replace the tile. Oh no! Popcorn is a must remove. How about replace tile in living areas with wood and leave tile in kitchen. Ok how about you live here and I live at the big house. Deal!! They’re done. Thank goodness for hot spots and fire stick.
I had one of those dreams of frantic urgency to meet. Butterflies and disappointment. The kind of dream that I relive and change the ending in my mind. My dreams are real and so honest.
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