Have respect by having manners and obedience. Be kind by not speaking rude. Do your job honorably by making decent grades that reflect you hard work. Take care of yourself by having balance, eating health consciously, exercising and going to sleep at a decent hour. (She thinks I made that up to tell her what to do...get enough sleep) Look presentable by wearing appropriate clean clothes that you feel comfortable in. Be happy because you choose to be positive. Try the best you can to the best of your ability. Someone did a job on her. She has it all worked in her mind. Her defense plan is solid in tact. I can see glimpses of truth when I talk to her. Tears will pool abd I see that I made sense BUT THEN she will reposition her posture, tilt her head to one side, stare blankly at me and put up her front. (Just like her brother does so well just without the attitude.) I told her she doesn't have to lie or make these negative accusations or hate me or act mad and ugly at us to want to go back to her mom. Why can't you just be good, grateful even. Be honest about our three months together. It wasn't perfect here, but you were happy here. what we expect of you has never changed since we became a family 12 years ago. It was the same in Jan as it is now. You never had a problem with it until Easter weekend. Then your mom got a child support request and you came back an entirely different child. brainwashed. It's like hearing an addict. And she's craving for her mother's love. I don't understand how a mother could use their child as a pawn in their own personal vendetta. How do you not want what's best for your child instead you manipulate them, feed them promises for your own personal gain. why would you want your daughter to start a BRAND new school 6 weeks before the end of the year. Why wld you want that? L is being used. It will take years for L to see that truth... Until then I pleaded with her to just be honest, admit you miss your mom and go bk for that not bc you can't stand it here. Can't you do that for the little girls. They are suffering. Why do you want them to see you leave like this. Let them remember all the laughs and good times. Don't scar them like this. (Deep sadness) You don't have to hate me for it to be ok to go back. I know it makes it easier for you but it doesn't have to be that way. please L My little girls are hurting. Shes ignoring us. Addie cried this morning. Cat came home from school saying she couldn't stop thinking about the argument. You have NO IDEA the anger that seeps out of my pours when I see them hurting. But I hold it in and try to explain to my young children why their big sister who they want to be is hurting us. God help my family. Love but do not smother Suggest but not force or control Offer but only when you know it's wanted Provide because I am entitled Understand but know you are not me Listen only to agree wholeheartedly It will all back come around. The truth will always come out. My Lord knows the truth. You can't hide from him. She's says she wants to go bk to Dallas. She says she can't be herself here. She can't say what's she's thinking bc she's afraid she will get in trouble for being rude. She says we are on her for being rude. I said but you've been happy this whole time. You made honor roll. There isn't any conflict between us. We never argue or fight. She says Well you dont know what's in my head. obviously. She's doesn't want to have to control everything that comes out of her mouth. I said that's what grown ups do and good people. She says we are always telling her what to do. Like what? I asked thinking of our quiet peaceful nights after the little girls go to bed. It's hard to come up with a list right away she says. I said please try. She says we make her tell people hi, bye and thank you. I laughed trying to hold it in. Lauren, it's our job to try to get you to be a good person. She says that she doesn't like being told to do her homework or go to bed at a reasonable hour which I never ever do merry suggest it fit her health. Her grades are good and she's getting it done, so she can stay up doing work till she needs to. She doesn't like when I offer her suggestions to mk her life easier. like with note taking or carrying heavy History books. She doesn't like when I tell her to please chew with her mouth closed. She says she can be herself at her mom's. Her mom understands her. She says her mom has "changed" and she wants to go back now. Six weeks before the end of the year to start a brand new school. We told her that's not a good idea. She can go back at 4:05 on the last day of the year. frk told her she doesn't have to be angry with us to go back. But she does have to be angry at someone all the time. It's her defense mechanism. I guess it's our turn. I feel so sad for her. I told her I love her no matter what and I only want her to be healthy and happy. I told her with tears falling that I hope one day you will look back and see how hard I tried to be good to you. And be thankful instead of angry. She's has to use us, blame us as away to make her leaving bk okay. I don't want to be resentful of that. I want to understand what she's going through but it hurts my feelings beyond repair. The silly complaints she's manifesting. She knows we had a good life here. She knows. It's really hard being a good stepparent. It's hard to listen to made up problems in her head. irs hard defend myself when all I've done is take her in. She says i doesn't know what she's thinking. It's hard to love someone who is at constant battle with herself. I told her I love her no matter what and I want what's best for her health and happiness. Six more weeks are going to be really hard with her claws out. God help Lauren to see what's real. Please help me to be kind and forgiving. Please help the little girls to understand growing up is hard and making good decisions is hard, but that mom and dad want what's best for you. Please God help our family to be healthy. It's almost more than I can stand. |
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